Hoffest spunk dispenser ever

OK, I think there should be more of these. But then, I never wash my hands anyway. Not after number ones. I mean, isn't that like admitting you were dirty down there, or, you missed and peed on your hands? I think that after peeing, you should have to wash your penis. Your hands have been touching things all day, while your bits have been washed and then safely tucked into clean underwear. At least so the story goes...