21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Ballad of Reading Contradictory Reports

You get the delivery report from logistics
and tally the totals to tamper
with accountants who ought to be mystics
for whom ethics is just not a hamper.

You ask for the numbers from billing
and eventually billing comes good
the numbers show we'd have made a killing
if they'd have billed half as much as they should.

Why are half of these deliveries free!?
You cry in a rage to all present
and the answer begins "Well you see,"
from some lowly lackey-slash-peasant.

"Most of the company product
is delivered to you and your ilk,
but your attitude's we can get f**ked
there's no way that you're paying a bill.

"So all the deliveries un-paid up for
are to executives, their wives and mistresses
and there's just no way they'll be made up for
it would clash with executive privileges.

The quandary you find yourself in sir:
your own largesse has ruined your numbers.
I suggest you flush all the reports, sir,
and leave the mess to the plumbers."

The insubordinate has much to say,
and he seems to be right and not dense.
Happily a solution occurs in the usual way,
and you fire his ass for making sense.

A board meeting is called, to Barbados you fly.
The question is raised: "Where's all that money?"
"An useless lackey stuffed up, he's been fired," you reply.
"I should have known he was no good, he looked funny."


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