21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Monday, September 19, 2005

The Love of Lost Lauren Love

She'll take the elevator late at night, listening for him, hoping he'll call out to her. She'll ride it to the top, to fateful floor seventeen, then down to the parking basements and back. She'll be in the elevator through her whole lunch break when the melancholy takes hold of her, listening and hushing her fellow elevator riders.

Longgone John Silver had a friend, you see. While he was liked by all, he had a special someone. And that someone is known by all except those who see her timesheets, only as Lost Lauren Love. It's in her eyes you see how lost she is. She does her job in the call centre as well as if not better than ever, but take one look at her eyes and you know she is somehow wrong.

While the spectre of Longgone John is something to terrify little children with, something (we can just feel it) horrible, a phantom of larrikin she'll-be-rightness turned cankrous and rotted to a listless core, that's not what Lost Lauren sees.

Lost Lauren remembers the good times, sees only the good times, still lives, somewhere deep down, the good times with Longgone John. Back when he was just plain John Silver, back when the sun shone brighter, the days seemed warmer and full of life. Last summer.

Last summer Lost Lauren and Longgone John initiated and brief and fiery affair. It started at an office party, they were at the bar late, and mad on the hooch. She was shooting lit black sambucas and he was downing pints of beer with vodka depth charges. It was a classy and sophisticated night until, happily plastered, Longgone John decided to let his animal urges get the better of him, and turned and kissed Lost Lauren passionately on the mouth. Just as she was raising another glass full of burning alcohol to that same mouth.

A quick thinking bartender spritzed both their faces, leaving minimal scarring, evidence and memories the next day. As Lauren came to on the tacky floor of the tacky bar, at the exact same time Longgone John decided exploding glass and napalm was definitely an omen, and it was over between them, she decided that it had been the most romantic moment of her life . A brief and fiery affair.

By the time the office party and the burns ward were hazy memories, Lauren had taken to wandering the corridors, living in a fantasy world where she and John kissed, and doused each other's fires every day. Soon after, John walked into the executive floor, never to be seen again, and Lauren's sighed doubled and redoubled as she took to riding the elevator for hours at a time.

So while the thought of Longgone John Silver brings fear and a sense of dodginess to the hearts of many, for Lauren, it brings only a wistful melancholy, tinged with regretful drink choices and unfortunate snog timing.

Lost Lauren's love lost Lauren Love, but Lost Lauren Love never lost her love.


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