21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Temp Card

Every now and then, ok quite often, ok all the time shut up, I forget my 21CCd access card.

This results in an awkward confrontation with Young Eddie, the nonagenarian security guard at the front entrance to the building, which usually goes something like this:

Lackey: Hi Eddie, I've forgotten my card sorry mate, could you chuck me a temp card for the day?
Young Eddie: Ooh ah, hello there. So, you've forgotten your card eh? You work here then?
L: You could say that mate, yeah.
YE: Right, ooh. So you're a Cosmodemonic Employee then?
L: Yes Eddie, I am.
YE: Ooh ok. Well I'm going to need you're team leader or supervisor to come down and confirm that then so I can give you a temp pass.
L: Eddie, my team leader works out of a different city. And I don't have a supervisor. We went through this last week, remember. And you always let me sign in in the end. We always have this conversation. It's quite fun actually, mate.
YE: Ah, so your team leader or supervisor can't sign you in then? You'll need to go home and get your pass sorry, ahh....
L: Oh come on, I haven't been home in days. It's not like I'd find my pass there. It's probably in the dumpster I slept under last night (can't remember her name now...) or I traded it to subversive agents in exchange for beer and bomb-making tips or it evaporated in a puff of smoke just after the pink flying elephants danced with the squirrels on the field of bok choy. I'm not sure.
YE: Well calm down, boyo, would you like a temp card then, maybe?
L: Hey that's a good idea! Yes please, Eddie.
YE: Here you go mate, just ask me next time.

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