21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cosmodemonic's Valentine to its Staff

This is something I honestly didn't expect. Normally the management here at 21st Century Cosmodemonic do appalling things in a generally predictable manner. But today, this was sitting in every email inbox in the company:

Dear employee, thank you so much.
Without you our lives would be very tough.
You liven our days with your unceasing toil,
And grow our company like a flower from soil.

We’d like to take his opportunity to say
That on this, St Valentine’s Day,
Even though there are redundancies in the works,
We value your work just as much as it’s worth.

Yours, the Management.

I'm not sure which bit I appreciated the most, comparing my work to dirt, or rhyming much with tough. And I'm not sure if that last line was meant to be read as a threat or not...

6 Comments:

Blogger Davidb said...

I think the last line is a threat, I would be worried unless my company, "ALIANS" at least bought me a fluffy toy and a dozen roses.
They didn't so now I have redoubled my efforts to remain on the payroll while quietly developing my playrole as my day job.
I now consider paranoia the normal state of mind and have added to my defences around my computer-see my comment to "alt shift".
However my computer connection to my cyber world of chat rooms, web surfing, free downloads, gaming and generally improving my knowledge of that and this is the only thing keeping me at work. Since the redundances and leavings, it now means no pub mates nor women to flirt with.
I dream about a sick room , with drugs and a fantasy nurse. Maybe you're not in such a bad place.Wanna swop?

11:01 am  
Blogger Davidb said...

I think the last line is a threat, I would be worried unless my company, "ALIANS" at least bought me a fluffy toy and a dozen roses.
They didn't so now I have redoubled my efforts to remain on the payroll while quietly developing my playrole as my day job.
I now consider paranoia the normal state of mind and have added to my defences around my computer-see my comment to "alt shift".
However my computer connection to my cyber world of chat rooms, web surfing, free downloads, gaming and generally improving my knowledge of that and this is the only thing keeping me at work. Since the redundances and leavings, it now means no pub mates nor women to flirt with.
I dream about a sick room , with drugs and a fantasy nurse. Maybe you're not in such a bad place.Wanna swop?

11:02 am  
Blogger Lackey said...

Swap my arse. Aliens is worse than Cosmodemonic. Second only to winkyshock I'd say. I've heard it's a really lousy company. You're always getting acid sprayed on your face, or little bastards popping out of your stomach. The long service leave is pretty good I hear, but hardly anyone lasts that long.

So there'll be no swapping. Besides, I feel a little under the weather...

1:16 pm  
Blogger Lackey said...

By the way, I heard you the first time.

1:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear employee, thank you so very much.
With you in our lives our business packs a punch...

Zen!

3:10 pm  
Blogger Ronan Jimson said...

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4:31 am  

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