21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

New elevator algorithm

Over at Collision Detection, Clive Thompson tells us about a new elevator algorithm, where you wait for a bit longer for the elevator on the floor, but it takes you to the floor you want with a lot less stops on the way. He says people will hate it, and I think I can confirm that.

I'm pretty sure that once someone presses 16 around here, the elevator won't pick up anyone else as it rushes to the executive floor. It usually stops at the floors other passengers have requested, though, but I think that's because they think we smell and want rid of us asap. They might be right about the smell, but still... how rude! Still what this means is at about 11:30, when their morning coffee "meetings" are finished, the upper levels of management drib and drab back to the building, and take the elevator straight to 16 for their pedicures, champagne parties and ritual disembowelments of lackeys even less fortunate than yours truly. Those of us still with our bowels in know not to try to take an elevator in the late morning hours, as we're often left standing stranded in the floor lobby, as lift after lift swishes by filled with singing, maniacal giggling and the stench of unlaundered money.

I still haven't made it in and out of Executive Heaven with my memory intact, but I'll keep you posted. You may rest disturbed that all descriptions you read here are quite accurate.


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