21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Monday, January 23, 2006


A while ago I created a cocktail. I wanted something you could down during work on Friday that would get you through the weekend with no need for further intoxification. So all you'd need to take during the weekend proper would be whatever you felt like at the time, rather than having to calculate your mood and the effects of any prospective fundrop.

I called this creation the Lacktini, but then someone said it sounded like it had breastmilk in it, so new suggestions are welcome. It is a five course cocktail, naturally.

  • Fill a high ball half way with absinthe, pour in a gram of cocaine and stir thoroughly. You can also caramelise some sugar, according to taste.
  • Cook up some morphine tablets, and suck contents into a syringe.
  • Throw some ice, and whatever spirits you have to hand in a shaker. Shake thoroughly. Garnish with ecstacy tablets.
  • Three shots of tequila
  • Three bottles of beer.

To take:
  • Down each shot followed by one of the beers.
  • Take the lid off the shaker, and pour contents down your throat.
  • Sip the absinthe casually, while discussing art nouveau with the dancing shadows in the corner.
  • Wait for the pain to hit, and when it does, numb it with the morphine. Once you come to, you should be right for the weekend.


Anonymous zen said...

What happens to the other 2 beers?

3:11 pm  
Blogger Lackey said...

Well Zen, each beer follows a shot, see.

Shot, beer, shot, beer, shot, beer. It's important.

But you do it your way if you like, they could come in handy later on too.

3:20 pm  
Anonymous zen said...

I get it but you know:
"Down each shot followed by one of the beers." sounds like down all 3 shots and then one of the beers! Down a shot followed by a beer - repeat x 3 would not have left me confused!

As it is I posted firstly to the wrong comment... well I did just emerge from snoozing under my table. I closed the door but I'm sure I was snoring.... I thought shit better do some work so I managed to find your blog! Thank gawd!

3:27 pm  
Blogger Lackey said...

Zen, I'm terribly sorry to have confused you, although it does sounds like a hastily drawn-up inventory of an empty barn could confuse you at the moment.

On the upside your comment at least makes sense here. I think perhaps you better drink those two spare beers now. Good thing you kept hold of them.

3:35 pm  

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