21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Thursday, February 02, 2006

What's up, doc?

Hi kids.

Your pal the Lackey had a little chat with his boss today. It was brilliant. First, he called me up from whichever remote holiday destination his latest conference is being held in (we were going to wait until he was in town, but realized that that is in infinity weeks, so better to go ahead now) . Then I answered the phone with my best Daffy Duck voice, which went down remarkably well. This was suspicious, as I am not officially supposed to answer the phone with my Daffy Duck voice. We've had discussions on the topic before. I had to use my Porky Pig voice in those discussions, but he stammers a lot so I don't know if I ever really got my point across. Anyhow, so it's a bit like this:

Lackey: Welcome to 21tthht Thentury Cothmodemonialand, how may I be of aththithtanththththh?
Lackey's Boss: Lackey, is that [unintelligible off phone noise and laughter] is that you?
L: W-w-w-w-w- yes...
LB: Listen [giggling] listen, I need you to fill in two requisition forms for me, ok? And drop them in the mail today, because we're running low.
L: Ah certainly sir, no problem at all. What shall I order for you?
LB: Eh? Oh, Jesus, what are you some lind of a moron? Don't name the stuff, that's ridiculous. Idiot. Just say my usual, and on the other one just say my other usual. The guys in Supplies'll know. [Off phone chatter] No sweetheart, don't put that there, ow! [Wild giggling] Can you do that?
L: Are you talking to me?
LB: What? Yes of course I'm talking to you, fool.
L: Sorry sir, yes of course I can do that, I'll do it right away.
LB: Good man, hey do that voice again, that's hilarious!
L:Thuffering Thuckatath!
LB: [Manic laughter, followed by a clunk and a popping sound] Brilliant! Just brilliant! Ha!
L: Thanks! I'm here all day, and week, and...
LB: You know what, this is crazy but what the hell. You deserve a pay rise, yep I'm gonna give you a raise next time I'm there. Just for that voice! Whaddya say? How do you like that - oooohhh! - I'm gonna give you a raise! Oh baby don't stop No I didn't mean don't stop, I meant Don't! Stop! Do you want me to get electrocuted? How do you like that?
L: Me? Sir, thanks a lot! But ah how about processing it now, rather than when you get here? Just might be easier is all...
LB: What? Nope, don't be silly. It's just as easy from there, and I want to able to shake your hand when you get it ok?
L: Ah.. thanks, sir...
[Wild giggling, snorting noises and strange seventies jazzis heard]
[The phone line dies]


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