I have seen the light

I was on the road to Damn Ass Kiss, an alternative and fetishwear clothing shop I sometimes go into for a perv, when I saw a blinding ray of light, I fell to the floor, and was nearly trampled to death by about a million dumbass teenaged raving boppers with glowsticks heading to the warehouse next door. And that was enough to convert me.

I grabbed a bunch of the glowsticks and tried to snap them , which somehow only made them glow more, burbled something incoherent even to myself and hurried away, hunchbacked, through the undergrowth of bum fluff and gum wrappers. Spent a few hours sitting at the top of a crane's tower in a construction site in the city howling at the moon until I realized it was attracting the ravers to me. I jumped for life was no longwer a livable thing but at some point in my rage one of those little crazies must have tied my shoelaces together, which when I thought about it explained the hunchback thing from earlier, and I hung from that crane until morning, when the construction blokes arrived for work.

Right after smoko, they used another crane to lower me to the ground, since I was apparently "too rancid smelling" to touch with their hands. I hobbled from there to work, and my boss was not impressed with my excuse for lateness, despite all the evidence of (even) new(er) scars, abrasions and filth.