21st Century Cosmodemonic

A jandal from the inside

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Joy to the Lackey

Your pal the Lackey awoke this morning suffocating under a pile of bodies. Mostly human, they were in all manner of dress and undress, some semi-conscious, many comatose, all reeking of alcohol, nicotine and untold illicit substances.

He had that funny feeling you get when you've had sex recently, but can't be sure with who, or how often. Looking around, he was pretty sure the answers were most of these people and possibly a couple of the animals, and quite a lot. The Lackey struggled for oxygen amid the press of flesh, and fighting his way through a jungle of limbs and hair, wine bottles and sex toys, he made it to his feet and surveyed the scene.

Beside the pile of bodies, there was a still mostly stocked bar, and further over, a couple of tables laden with cakes and cheese and crackers. He looked back at the people he had extricated himself from with such aplomb, and a flicker of recognition crossed his face. He knew some of them. The room seemed familiar, and there was a santa hat draped discreetly over an otherwise naked comatose cosmodemonic middle manager.

Our young hero's head buzzed and crackled into life, and he realized that this could only mean one thing: office Christmas party season had begun.

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